John K. Grubb – Houston Divorce Attorney Educates On Right Of First Refusals
If you’re using a divorce lawyer in Houston and going through a divorce, you likely have given a lot of thought to how you’re going to co-parent your children with your soon to be ex. It’s important that the two of you work together to parent your child as best you can. This can be a huge blessing to the child and although you and your spouse have been through a lot, so has your child and the welfare of your child is important. He or she likely doesn’t understand all of the details of the divorce, however, statistics show that children understand more than they let on. For this reason, it’s important to consider what lengths you and your ex are willing to go to in order to do what is best for your child.
Basics Of First Right Of Refusal
As you go through the terms of your final divorce decree, you’re going to need to understand that document and how it can be held up to the courts. You’ll need to understand how it affects you, your ex-spouse, and your child. You’re going to have to abide by this document until your child reaches the age of 18. There are many issues to consider such as which parent the child will live with and which parents get what in the form of possessions. While neither person is going to get everything that they want, there is one way that you can both get something out of the deal.
The First Right Of Refusal Of A Child
This term isn’t easy to understand. There are times that a parent may not be able to meet all of the needs of a child or for some reason, they can’t take possession of the child. In this case, it’s important to allow the ex to have that right. They will have the “first right of refusal” as to who will take care of the child. In the event that one parent can’t take care of the child, the other parent should have the first right to agree to take the child, or refuse to take the child.
It may appear to be a “glass half full” way to parent, however, statistics show that children tend to thrive when at least one of the parents is their biological parent. Why not allow your ex more time with your child if you’re working an odd shift, or out of town for a time? By working together to raise a child is important, it was once the original plan. By sticking to such teamwork, you’ll give your child a sense of togetherness and a commonality that will benefit your child later in his or her life.
Consider Consequences Of First Right Of Refusal
While this may not be the ideal solution for either parent, it may well work to their advantage. The spouse may propose this arrangement in the medication of the final decree. Many agree to it without a lot of thought. However, it must be a means of tending to the child care without adding insult to injury over the divorce. This will actually work well even though parents can’t predict the future. If one parent is transferred out of the area, the other parent can take over. If a parent must be out of town for a meeting or conference, the other parent can take over.
Another example would be if you were called into work 4 hours early. You could call the ex and ask them if they would like extra time with the child. Even if you’re remarried, this would be the way the first right of refusal would work regarding visitation. The other parent would have the option to tend to the child while you had to work. This language is specific and must be included in the divorce decree if you wish to utilize it to the fullest. A divorce lawyer in Houston will have the proper wording and technical language to make this the right verbiage in the divorce decree. Mediators often recommend this clause to ensure that the child’s best interest is always served as well. It’s as simple as calling the ex when circumstances change and asking them if they want to watch the child for a few hours while one parent works an extra shift or goes in early.
Agreeing to such a First Refusal and not having it work simply means that you hire an attorney to notify the ex that you’re going to take it back to court. While divorce hurts everyone involved, it doesn’t have to be so painful for the child. The child can benefit from being with both parents, especially if they both reside close enough for the child to visit often. This can be a very painful time to make such a decision, but it’s vital to the case that parents agree on this clause. Unless there is a serious reason to not allow this, it is typically in the best interest of the child to have this First Right of Refusal in the final divorce decree.
The best way to approach this is by going over the details with a divorce lawyer in Houston prior to the divorce. This way, both parties can go over the details and work out the exact wording of the clause in the final paperwork. Many parents have found that this works very well, especially if they work different shifts or if they have a job where they may occasionally be on call. Always think respectively of the child and try not to be selfish. Make intentional decisions that will benefit the child and not focus on your hurts. These are separate issues and should be dealt with separately. Don’t punish the child because you’re upset over a divorce. It’s not the child’s fault and the child deserves to see both parents.