How To Get Over Being Cheated On By Your Significant Other
The feelings that you experience when you discover that you have been cheated on are impossible to put into words. A part of you may feel angry. This anger can either be directed at your partner or at the person that they cheated with. You also may be feeling hurt, insecure, and inadequate. Unfortunately, getting over a breakup that involves cheating can be a long and involved process. The good news is, it is possible to recover. Before you know it, you can start feeling more like yourself again.
When you break up as a result of infidelity, it can be hard to trust again. Right after a breakup, you have to make a lot of major decisions. Trying to figure out where to go next can seem a little bit overwhelming when you are dealing with such strong emotions.
Now that your relationship has ended, it is important to take time for yourself so that you can heal. If you try to start dating again right away, you may have difficulty establishing trust with a new partner. Below are some steps that you should take to help yourself regain your confidence and your ability to trust. Although not all of these methods may work for your situation, it is worth giving them a try to see if they help.
1. Talk To A Trusted Friend, Family Member, Or Counselor About Your Feelings
Talking about your partner’s infidelity can be extremely difficult. It is often embarrassing to bring up. However, it is essential to share your thoughts and feelings with another person that you trust. Avoid telling everyone you know about the situation. Instead, find a trusted friend who will provide you with support without blabbing the information all over town. Talking to a counselor can also be an effective option. Just make sure whoever you talk to is open and supportive. If you tell too many people about the infidelity, it may make it more difficult to reconcile with your partner in the future. If your friends know that your partner cheated on you, they will be far less likely to trust or accept them if you ever wind up getting back together again.
2. Self Love And Prioritization After A Divorce
Don’t waste your time or energy focusing on your ex. Instead, put yourself first for once, thinking about your needs.
Spend some time evaluating your role in your relationship. What areas of your relationship were the most important to you? Where do you feel like your strengths lie? Are there areas where you could improve in future relationships? This is not about blaming yourself for the infidelity. Instead, it is about trying to identify where things went wrong with your relationship as well as where they went right. That way, you will be in a far better position to have a successful relationship the next time you find someone worth dating.
3. Try Changing Your Daily Habits And Add Spontaneity To Life To Keep Your Mind Busy
Chances are, you and your partner did a lot of things together. Oftentimes, continuing to do these same things only serves as a reminder of the pain of your relationship. Try switching things up a little bit, doing things differently for a change. For instance, if you use to get coffee at a local coffee shop with your partner, try choosing a different coffee shop instead. Not only can this open up the door to new opportunities but it can also help keep you from dwelling on the past.
4. Get Rid Of Any Evidence Of The Infidelity Or Cheating That Took Place
As tempting as it might be to hold onto evidence of your partner’s affair, you should get rid of it. Delete any text messages, photos, or other information on your computer or phone. Throw away any items that you may have found around your house. Keeping these items only serves to keep the pain of the affair alive.
Getting rid of them opens up the door for healing. If you feel like you need to reread text messages or view evidence to remind yourself why you ended the relationship, you can keep them around for a while. Just be sure to get rid of them before too long so that you don’t wind up dwelling on the pain forever. Also, if you are going to be going through a divorce, talk to your lawyer about whether or not you need to save them until the divorce is final.
5. Don’t Obsess Over The Person Your Significant Other Cheated On You With
After you find out your partner has cheated, you may be tempted to try to learn as much as you can about the person that they had an affair with. Try to avoid this temptation. It almost always will make you feel worse rather than better. Instead of focusing on that person, focus on yourself. Start thinking about the things that you like best about yourself. Make a list of your best features and characteristics. It is important to build yourself up after the pain of an affair. Low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy are common after being cheated on. You need to regain your confidence before you can have a successful relationship again.
6. Get Professional Help After Your Divorce
Being cheated on can significantly impact your ability to have successful relationships in the future. You may want to consider working with a professional therapist to learn how to trust again.
If you are married, you also may need to contact a Houston divorce attorney to help you sever all ties with your spouse. Going through a divorce is painful. Until you officially break up with your partner, however, the pain of the affair will constantly be a part of your life. Ending your relationship for good is usually the fastest way to move on to a brighter, happier future.