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A Divorce Lawyer In Houston Talks About Detachment After A Painful Divorce

Learn How To Let Go And Move On After Your Houston Divorce

The pain of losing a loved one is something we’ve all gone through at some point in our lives. Getting over someone you considered your true love is one of the toughest things to do. As tough as it is, sometimes it’s necessary. If you aren’t careful, the pain experienced from losing your true love can be a tough obstacle to overcome in regards to moving forward with your life, so you must take steps now so that you can find happiness in the future. A lot of times you know what caused the relationship to fall apart. Other times you’re completely clueless, even though the subtle signs were there all along. No matter what the case may be, you must make a decision to leave the past behind you and move on. If you decide that you are wanting a divorce, check out a divorce lawyer in Houston at John K. Grubb & Associates.

A Few Things You Can Do To Help You Move On After A Divorce

1. Cut Contact With Your Ex

If you hope to have any shot at moving on, you must end all contact with the person. This shouldn’t even be considered a step so much, as it is more of a necessary prerequisite that leads to step one. As long as the person causing you pain remains close to you, healing will be next to impossible. Get rid of anything that is connected to them, including phone numbers, contact information, pictures, and so on. You’ll still have your memories of course, but with fewer reminders around there will be less temptation to reach out to the person during a period of weakness.

2. Don’t Suppress Your Feelings After/During A Divorce

One of the biggest mistakes people make when trying to get over a break up is they try to ignore what they are feeling or keep those feelings bottled up inside. This is the exact opposite of what you should be doing and will only make it harder to heal from the pain you’re experiencing. Instead of hiding from it, you must embrace your pain. Accept the fact that you’re going through a painful situation and let your feelings out, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. The mind is a complex and powerful thing, and over time it will heal itself if you let it and the pain you’re feeling will eventually subside.

3. No More Fantasizing About “What If’s” Let Your Ex Go

Don’t allow yourself to fantasize about things that aren’t going to happen. During the healing process, you may be tempted to imagine that the other person may change. If only you were given the chance to do things differently, they might change their mind. Stop it! It’s not going to happen. Things aren’t going to change and it’s not going to work out. This is simply a defense mechanism of your brain that is trying to protect you from pain. Don’t bottle this feeling inside when it happens, however. When it happens, just be aware of why it’s happening and understand it’s just another step in the healing process. It’s kind of like binge drinking after a loss or a breakup, sometimes even a divorce. It doesn’t make the problem go away, it’s just a temporary solution that may make you feel good for awhile, but these feelings will only be short term. Eventually, the alcohol wears off. When it does, the painful feelings will come rushing back in and you’ll be right back where you started. Don’t let yourself be tempted into avoiding reality by fantasizing as facing reality is the only way you can truly heal.

4. Be Forgiving Of The Person Who Broke Your Heart

This step is when things really get serious. What you’ve experienced has left a terrible internal wound that needs repair. Ultimately, that repair will require forgiveness on your part. The other person isn’t always to blame when relationships go bad. It may even be our own fault. No matter who is at fault, try visualizing the other person and simply repeat to yourself “I forgive you. My pain is my own.” It may feel like you’re only pretending to forgive the person in the beginning, but eventually, if you repeat it enough, these feelings of forgiveness will become a sincere belief. Once this happens, you’ll know it has begun to work. Healing time can vary from person to person and is often dictated by what happened. Eventually, you will heal if you give yourself the opportunity to do so.

5. Live Your Life And Be Happy

Once the healing process has begun, when you feel able, you must get out there and start living your life. Pick up a new hobby, try to meet new people, or take a trip to a place you’ve never been before. Anything you can think of that gives you the chance to make new memories and enjoy new experiences will replace old memories that may still cause you pain from time to time. Eventually, these new experiences will make your past heartbreak a distant thing of the past.

For more information on family and divorce services, check out our website and our blog. For immediate assistance call us at (713) 877-8800

By | 2018-04-18T12:02:43-05:00 April 10th, 2018|Divorce|Comments Off on A Divorce Lawyer In Houston Talks About Detachment After A Painful Divorce