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A Houston Lawyer Explains How To Effectively Prepare Yourself For That Prenup Conversation

Tips For Preparing For That Prenup Conversation

The prenup conversation might not be the easiest to have with your partner, but it is still an important topic that should be covered. You are probably wondering how to go about bringing up this sensitive topic and avoid all the hurt and drama. The following few paragraphs will show you exactly how to do it.

1. Be Straightforward

Simply get to the point. Show your partner that you are behaving sensibly and in a clear-headed way about this topic, which is potentially awkward. He/she will respect you more if you do this. It is likely that if your partner reads the paper he/she may be having the same thoughts and were just reluctant to raise the issue.

2. Right Timing

You shouldn’t simply throw the prenup into the mix just yet. If you are having a heated discussion about finances or lunch with your in-laws it is important to realize that this is not the right time to have the prenup conversation. A prenup conversation is not one that comes naturally when you are dazzled by love.

Do some forward planning then set the scene. Plan the occasion when both you and your partner are in a positive state of mind when you have the energy and time to have an in-depth conversation. You can introduce it when talking about your joint savings plan after the wedding or by talking about student debts.

Don’t start the conversation by saying “I want a prenup.” It is a sensitive issue that requires delicate handling to avoid arguments.

3. Remind Your Partner that All Marriages Eventually Come to an End

It might sound morbid when you say it, but the reality is that all marriages eventually come to an end: either in divorce or death.

You don’t prepare a will because you secretly hope for your spouse to die prematurely, but you still do it. Why? Because you obviously don’t want the courts to dictate your property rights when you die and believe that both you and your partner are better placed to make the decisions together.

A prenup is more or less the same. Why trust the government to dictate your obligations and rights if you are not fortunate enough to die?

4. Reassure Your Partner

Let your partner know that you intend to protect their financial independence and yours too. To keep both of you, as a couple, in control of your property and finances instead of the state or the courts.

5. Be Transparent with Your Partner

The prenup conversation is the time to be completely honest with your partner. Our thoughts about prenups are often shaped by other people’s marriages (friends, siblings, parents). Share with your partner so that they fully understand that it is not the final stage of your dishonorable plan to acquire all their possessions and hard-earned money. You should be honest about what’s important to you and why.

6. Talk About Expectations

If you split up with your partner, you might be surprised at how much you share similar concerns. Who will keep the house? How will the one that leaves the house pay a security deposit or movers? These are some of the issues to discuss and include in the prenup. It is important to take the fear of being homeless out of your marital anxieties.

7. Listen

Listening is the best way to avoid misunderstandings. Ask your partner about their hopes and opinions and research the issue together. It is highly likely that neither of you has a lot of practical experience when it comes to prenups, which means that you can learn together.

8. Don’t Be Angry

You may not get your desired response, but you need to stay calm. Your partner may not wish to hear from you. He/she might feel insulted that divorce has even crossed your mind. It is understandable on one hand, but you need to get real. 45 percent of marriages end in divorce. Being properly prepared is important for both of you.

9. Be Ready to Try Again

If you fail to get the desired results the first time around, you shouldn’t simply give up hoping that it will all work out for the best in the end. Your wishes should also be respected in your relationship too. Give your partner time to cool off and then re-evaluate your points. You can even hire a mediator to help you express your thoughts without the needs for things to go sour.

10. Have Faith

If marriage is something you are seriously considering, it is important that both of you have a difficult conversation when necessary at the outset. You should be capable of upsetting or even disappointing your spouse when necessary to honestly express your feelings and needs. Start warming up those skills early on before getting hitched. It is as bad a time as any to see that, if you are doing it right, it is still possible to be upset or scared and still in love.

The Bottom Line

When you are in a relationship, conversations about finances can be hard, whatever stage you are at. Bringing up the prenup conversation requires you to wear many hats your rational hat, your sensitive hat, and your honest hat. Fortunately, it can all be done without being offensive. It can even help you build trust and solidify the relationship.

If you need it, that’s great you are covered. If you don’t, then you and your partner have started your lives together in the best way possible by being honest and open about the tricky issues. It will be a win-win situation. It is better to have a prenup and not require one than to require a prenup and not have one.

If you need help with your prenup, you should get in touch with a Houston prenup lawyer today.

For more information on family and divorce services, check out our website and our blog. For immediate assistance call us at (713) 877-8800

By | 2018-03-22T18:05:24-05:00 March 22nd, 2018|Family Law, Prenup Attorney, Prenup Lawyer|Comments Off on A Houston Lawyer Explains How To Effectively Prepare Yourself For That Prenup Conversation